What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
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