My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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