It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
we made out on top of his cat.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
