I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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