I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
where are you?
Hypothermia
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You were trust falling into bushes
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
