i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
