As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Randomize
