I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
