apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
