I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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