DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
