It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
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I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
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You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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