watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
