I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
