God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
a search helicopter?!
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
