turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
