Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
