and you said cock pushups were impossible
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
