She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize