he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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