He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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