stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
