yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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