my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
This house was built for laser tag.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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