Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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