but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
