You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
