Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
