I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
