He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
