My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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