i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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