she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize