i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
