I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
