i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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