Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
