her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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