just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
