I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
