I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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