I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
