I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
