so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
