Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
