So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
