can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
She needs sedatives and a leash
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
