I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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