im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
