alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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