so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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