Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize