come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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