the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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