My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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