I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
