I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It's shark week go big or go home
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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