piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
