No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
