Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
