I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
