New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
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