How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
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